episode 09 : a late delivery 7:00 AM

Konichiwa!!!!


My name is naim ahmad / shuji okishima and this is the posting in what will be a weekly or monthly blog based around my progress in writing my novel. First things first: that’s novel as in “love comedy”, not as in “new or unusual”. Although it might be that too. Well, at least new. Kind of...

Basically, this is the plan. Over a 12 month period, I will write of the novel finishing on 2011 at least...at least!!!. kalau aku tahap malas boleh jadi 2012 start this January. Back to the topic, I am looking for around 75,000 words which will be divided into roughly 30 chapters or less. I will do this while holding down a full time job and attempting not to descend into hermit-like weirdness or developing a cavalier attitude towards personal hygiene. That’s about it. I will keep you updated with my (lack of) progress and share the trials and tribulations of being a budding author (Note to self - avoid clichés like the plague.). Bugger. Hopefully, those in a similar place will take solace (but not plot twists) for their own efforts and will be able to offer their own tips, encouragement or constructive abuse over the following months. I will tell you a little about myself just so you can understand my situation better without boring the David Copperfield out of you.

current Status: a pile of notes, loads of ideas, and a blank white

episode 08: fear 11:10 AM

"Fear affects us all more than we care to admit, and it’s especially insidious for writers. Writing online is one of those activities where you’re really putting yourself out there, and the critics are always waiting to pounce."

I've been using a lot of negative self-talk to excuse myself for not making more progress toward my current novel project and now that I think about it, I'll admit that I've been using this excuse for years. When it boils down to it, I believe it's fear of risk that has the largest impact. When I start a new blog effort, I'll jump out of the gate like gangbusters only to fizzle out in a few weeks. I lose steam when I realize that my writing doesn't compare to that of my favorite love and funny genres. The nice thing about computers is that I can always pick the story back up right where I left off. I'm going to commit to finishing on my own novel this week...eh, silap....next year!!

Wish me luck.

episode 07: i have a dream 7:45 AM

This isn’t much like I have a dream, a song to sing. Dream seemed to be getting further away, would you think about whether should we chasing it away or not. For the whole life, some of us dreamed about singing or acting or many kind of. Unfortunately they intermingle at times. Chase dreams is to follow the goal with our eyes never being taken off the prize. Chasing it away is to follow and get lost on the way. It usually means that us has forgot our goal in spite of we may chase it away, but what I think it is still possible to catch up. Led to dreams, and then they come true even sometimes some of them are nightmares come to life, but in the grade scheme of things, there is nothing we would do to change anything that has happened. Good would only be mediocre if there was no bad. Dreams come true and can be a part of a vision, illusion that stirs us to better things in our lives. For the most part, even negative dreams are to promote learning experiences so that we may adjust our lives accordingly in a more positive direction. When at the end of all resisting, when passion is nearly spent, you can hold that dream in your arms, and the embrace that you offer, is no longer refused, but accepted. Some dreams are meant to be just that dreams, in either way hope is full filled. When God doesn’t open the doors for you to pursue whatever or whomever it is that you want. If that thing or person just doesn’t fit into your life, or you keep running into obstacles that stop you getting it or them, it’s time to give up. Maybe it’s time to start dreaming a lovely new dream and you’ll find when you achieve it that it’s way better than the original one ever could be.


Chase the dreams not the competition


p/s - I gotta face my fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to me

episode 06: laid to rest 9:28 PM

Talked to her just now, think all the time about not having to worry about money, or work or school, or being responsible for so many things. It happened to everyone I guess.

I am also the kind of person who doesn’t want to miss anything, I want to hang around a long time and see all what’s invented and what’s going to happen. Sometimes think it must be peaceful not to have the pressures of the daily grind. I often think if heaven is more beautiful than here, maybe I am not good enough, and if hell is worse than here I sure as hell don’t want to go. When I die, that could be the best day of my life ever, and you too probably. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die. Death is a beautiful thing, it signifies the person is leaving, and going to a better place, even if we all just rot in the ground. When someone dies, they are at peace. The weight of the world has been lifted off their shoulders, and all the pain and suffering is gone. To leave this earth of any reason, is a beautiful thing. Like the butterfly, the stage we are at is the cocoon. We were a caterpillar when we grew up, and for the rest of our lives we will be encased in a cocoon, struggling to break free. When we die, beauty, the butterfly, is set free, to do whatever we please.

Our situation is our fault. We are human being, quit crying and move. We were born, created, given life to live it. Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of pain. To plan. For I had no choices now but one: to stand still in the middle of road and die.

Life is too short to be wishing it away and want death as a solution